where do i fucking go!!!!! i am so mad at myself for fucking up my life like this. i have all of this negative emotion and energy. sometimes im ok, sometimes i lose it and other times, when i stop, it all just bubbles up in my head and i dont know what to do with it. so now i am venting on my blog, telling this to whoever the fuck ever reads this shit that i write. there are so many little things that i could complain about, but that never gets me anywhere, it only escalades into more frustration. why do i have to be like this, i have been verbally abused, lectured, instructed etc on how to change but i cant seem to do it, i just envy people and then feel sorry for myself, its complete bullshit.