Your head is down and your heart is heavy. It seems that the weight of the world is on your shoulders, subsidiary issues get to you and creep around in your mind, infecting you to the point that no one can cure the way you feel. I have been here. I know that there comes a point where you feel that nothing and no one could ever help you. People piss you off for no apparent reason, you struggle to feel happy and don't know when or if things will get better. Right now there are hands holding you back and covering your eyes, i can say this knowing only how real it is; a burning sensation has filled my whole body, and it was not until i decided that i didn't want to feel this way anymore, that finger by finger, those hands started to let go. What i also came to find, is that those hands were my own. I was doing this to myself; and so are you. You may not want to agree or accept it, but you have to want to change, only you can shed this darkness that hangs over you like a miserable nightmare. If you will take advice from no one, at least consider me, i worry about you, because i love you with all my heart, i apologise if you feel this love is at times opaque, for it is solid and constant. I'm sorry that you feel anger towards your family; they only want the best for you and you mean the world to them. You have to play the cards that you have been dealt, you can steer your life in the direction you want it to go, but if you keep making excuses and coming up with the ideas that say you are a failure and you will go no where, then you will go no where. So please for the sake of yourself, your life and the vein that is thread through our bodies, the vein that when unleashed brings us so much freedom; for the sake of your happiness, don't keep on going the way you are. I was afraid to talk, thinking that anything that came out of my mouth, others wouldn't understand, you have to get past this, because others insight and input go on to assist you in rescuing yourself. let these words sink in, don't let them fade through your eyes and disappear, because i have walked in your shoes, and it feels bloody good to take those wooden bastards off. I love you, i am in love with you. Please.